To the childless woman,
It may feel that your path is not lived by many, but you are not alone. This is my letter to you. This is my letter to me.
Maybe you’ve made the choice to forgo having a child and you are beyond happy to be living a life free from the responsibility that raising a child demands. I salute you, for living life on your own terms, no matter how many times people ask when you’re planning to have a child, or why you don’t have a child. You are doing what is right for you and you should be celebrated.
Maybe you don’t feel ready yet to take on the responsibility of a child. You have more things you want to do that might be unachievable with a child. Possibly you dream of travelling the world. Perhaps you have ambition to become the CEO and you believe that right now, career comes first. In no way am I saying you need to pick one or the other: family or career, as my mother showed me, women can do anything and everything; however, maybe your choice is to purely focus on career right now and motherhood can wait. Maybe you don’t feel financially ready, or perhaps, you just feel that you are too young to become a mother.
However, maybe you don’t fall into any of the above categories and you desperately want a child. Maybe you believe you are meant to be a mom and it hasn’t happened. Perhaps you have been trying for years, and the constant heartache of never conceiving has become overwhelming. Maybe you haven’t found the right person to raise a child with, even though you are constantly looking. Perhaps you were never in the right place to have a child and you are now past your childbearing years, even though you still yearn to be a mother.
Or maybe your marriage ended in your 20’s or 30’s and you not only feel the heartbreak that is the end of a marriage, but also the sadness that comes from the absence of any children. Possibly, your mourning is not isolated to just a broken union, but also extends to grief over someone who never arrived and who you fear isn’t in the plans for you anymore. Even though starting over brings new possibilities, maybe you fear that motherhood will never happen.
Whomever you may be, keep moving forward on this journey with courage, self-love, pride and hope. You are exactly where you need to be and your path will become clear. Even if the absence of a child brings you grief, know that it’s possible that you don’t yet understand why motherhood hasn’t happened yet. Keep moving toward your future with faith that there is beauty and joy ahead of you. Trust that you are exactly where you are supposed to be.
Sending you only light and peace.
Founder of the site Divorced at 30, Alexandra is a blogger who is passionate about speaking her truth. She is on a healing journey as she enters this new chapter in her life. A mental health advocate, she is passionate about motivating others to find “the light” and attain peace.